Trying to be FUN Again. Does watching a depressing documentary count?

When I’m alone with a night of TV to myself, which doesn’t happen much because my kid likes to sleep the same hours as me, my first choice is whatever the most disturbing, depressing documentary is. This weekend it happened to be Fire in Paradise on Netflix. It blew my mind. I follow the news regularly, but the news does not get at what it felt like to be in the middle of that fire. I cannot imagine escaping your home to get away from the flames only to encounter nightmare traffic that isn’t budging. The police yelled at people to abandon their cars and lay low on a slab of cement in the center of town for most of the day–everything else around them burning. The footage is horrifying–so many people were filming on their phones & had cameras in the car that no reenactments were necessary. This kind of film is important to really understand what climate change is doing to our state on a yearly basis. But it’s also my Saturday night entertainment. No one ever accused me of having too much fun!

So yeah–that was my Saturday night & here we are on Monday night–I’m getting really crazy by trying mashed cauliflower for dinner. If I didn’t have any taste buds & just had to go on consistency alone, I would say it was pretty good.

I’m in this weird phase where I’m trying to find my footing and myself again. Having a kid really knocked the wind out of me. It took everything I had just to make it from one day to the next without going absolutely insane. And people have multiple kids!! Dolly Parton grew up in a family of TWELVE CHILDREN. What? How do you have any sense of identity when you do that? Or do you just give it up until your 12 kids leave for school or country music stardom?

Now that Kenzy can use her imagination and play on her own instead of just falling over and running into things all the time, I’m finding pockets of time, but I have forgotten what to do with them. I used to see ALL THE MOVIES, and now I see none. I was so busy that my habits were horrible–multiple cold brews a day, no vegetables in sight, etc etc. I am a “correcting” phase right now, which isn’t really fun but I feel like it’s leading in that direction.

Here’s to less caffeine, to mashed cauliflower & to tons of depressing documentaries!




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *