Do some people have such an amazing week the first week of the year that it carries them through the other 11+ months? Or, like me, do you struggle to show up at work and then struggle harder to do anything of any importance? Did you make Christmas cookies with your daughter this past weekend (after Christmas) and then eat them all yourself? Are you at an Air Bnb tonight because your landlord decided the day before to tell you they are putting in new insulation? So you just have a pair of socks and running pants to get you through the next few days? Maybe that’s just me, but you get the idea. You can’t put all your money on the first week of January.
What do I want for the new year? Something new I guess. The only thing I’m scared of at the moment is everything staying exactly the same. Not because it’s terrible, but there are just some years when I’m in the mood for change. Last year, I would be yelling, “PLEASE DON’T ANYTHING CHANGE,” because there is a limit. But as I adapt to motherhood, I miss the parts of me that used to be just about me. I get motherhood changes you forever, but there are some things I want back. My sense of humor. My laugh. Maybe a little carelessness. I am so careful these days. Oh and maybe just a little bit of time.
I have no great resolution to tell you about, which is unfortunate because that would be a great reason for a post. Nah, this is just to tell you if you feel like me–which is a little down & a little uninspired, you are not alone. You are allowed to ease into the year slowly, to hope for change without doing so much to try to make it happen. You are allowed to turn the news down (or off) and enjoy the life that is right in front of you.
The list of things I want to do this year: read books (or even finishing one book would be nice), see movies, see more live music, go on more long runs, enter more races, get more sleep, meet up with friends on a regular basis, vote in a new president, etc etc. I don’t want you to think for a minute that I’m not totally stoked with what I currently have: this healthy 2yr old girl sleeping in my bed right now! Or this dog at my feet. That is more than I ever would’ve wished for or vision-boarded. So here’s to the unknown of 2020. I hope it surprises me and you in all of the best, most extraordinary ways.